Maya The Bulldog (@maya_on_the_move) — Maya's adventures in NY & LA 🐶
mayathebully@gmail.com 
What?! #GameofThrones 💔👑 #PoorDrogon 🐉💔 #WorstEndingEver
20.05.2019 02:39:20
People who say “Everything happens for a reason” don’t appreciate the irony when
People who say “Everything happens for a reason” don’t appreciate the irony when I push them down stairs... 🤷🏻‍♀️
14.05.2019 19:36:10
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Me: I look like shit today.

Shit: you wish, buddy.
Me: I look like shit today. Shit: you wish, buddy....more
13.05.2019 19:18:06
If you’re searching for someone who’s sweet and funny and has their life togethe
If you’re searching for someone who’s sweet and funny and has their life together, look no further. Just date me and you’ll meet them right after we break up...
06.05.2019 16:20:13
Just look at this adorable face! Beyond grateful to @lpkphoto for capturing thes
Just look at this adorable face! Beyond grateful to @lpkphoto for capturing these moments with Maya. 💕
02.05.2019 17:02:47
“Erectile Dysfunction" is such a harsh term. Why not just call it "Sleepy Peepee
“Erectile Dysfunction" is such a harsh term. Why not just call it "Sleepy Peepee?" 🍆😴...more
29.04.2019 18:19:34
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Me: I want a flat stomach
My stomach
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| 🧀🧀🥩🥩\
|🌮🌯🌯🍟 \
|🥠🥠🌭
Me: I want a flat stomach My stomach | \ | / | \ | \ | 🍞🍞🍞\ | 🧀🧀🥩🥩\ |🌮🌯🌯🍟 \ |🥠🥠🌭🥞 / |🥚🥚🍖🍳/ |🥯🥖🥖 / | | | \ | \
28.04.2019 22:48:14
How come NASA sending their black hole to everyone is "Breaking News," but me se
How come NASA sending their black hole to everyone is "Breaking News," but me sending mine is an "HR violation?"
15.04.2019 18:14:26
-Hello, who´s this?
-Ben
-Ben who?
-Ben D. Knee
-Hello, who´s this? -Ben -Ben who? -Ben D. Knee...more
14.04.2019 19:55:44
Me: “I am Daenerys Targaryen. The Unburnt. Mother of Dragons. Breaker of chains.
Me: “I am Daenerys Targaryen. The Unburnt. Mother of Dragons. Breaker of chains. Que-"... 🐉 Job interviewer: Three references are enough... #GoT#onemoreday
13.04.2019 22:15:09
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Sometimes I call my cable company and add sports channels just so I can pretend
Sometimes I call my cable company and add sports channels just so I can pretend to have a boyfriend... #plentyoffishintheseafail
11.04.2019 18:47:51
Friends: Get married. Have kids. Get a promotion. Travel the world.

Me: Still s
Friends: Get married. Have kids. Get a promotion. Travel the world. Me: Still standing in the grocery store trying to get open a plastic produce bag.🍌 #happynationalunicornday
09.04.2019 23:15:36
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